who do you listen to, the internal bully or the cheerleader?

Who do you listen to, the bully or the cheerleader?

When you talk to yourself are you your own cheerleader or are you your own bully?

This was put to me in schema therapy and hasn't left me since. We condition ourselves to think and feel a certain way.

If we are constantly beating ourselves up for our mistakes and feeling like we can always do better, we will never feel good enough. This will leave us feeling depleted, unworthy and just depressed. That means the bully has control and it's time to think about what the cheerleader would say.

The cheerleader would build you up, tell you it's okay to fail as long as you learn from it. That you are always good enough and you can do whatever you set your mind to. You can and will feel better but you deserve love and kindness exactly as you are right now.

This is a great way to learn how to practice self compassion πŸ’œβœ¨

The cheerleader should be your default but this often feels strange or uncomfortable for someone who's lived under the bully for as long as they can remember.

The good news is it's not stuck that way. The more you challenge the bully, the easier it becomes and the less power it has over you. Only you can change that internal dialogue and I want that for you πŸ’œ

So I have a question for you, who do you listen to, the bully or the cheerleader?
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